TOPIA For every promise, there is price to pay.
Jim Rohn
The producer lady, the one with the
headphones, wisely moved out of my way as
I exited. The man behind her wasn’t so
smart. “You are yet to finish the auditioning
process,” he informed me as he attempted
to block my way. I was glad of it, more
anger to replace the pain. I flung the
microphone at him and I grabbed him by the
collar. “Sue me!” I shouted and threw him
into a pole behind me. He slipped and fell to
the ground and quickly turned away. It took
a couple of turns down the hall’s backstage
before I found an exit. The crisp open air hit
me in a wave. I breathed it in deeply as I
headed down the street, darkness already
cloaking the city; the coolness wrapped my
pain well. I heard a door open behind me. I
ran to the street and disappeared into the
city.
I was at the bridge when my phone rang. I
didn’t recognize the number so I hit ignore. I
walked along the walkway, looking at the
silently-flowing river. Cars passed as their
occupants oblivious to the death of my wife.
The whole world was oblivious. My phone
rang again, another number I didn’t
recognize. I ignored it as well and stopped
at the head of the bridge. I closed my eyes
as I leaned on the rail. I could see Dolapo
again, so cheerful. I would begin to forget
soon. I didn’t want to lose Dolapo again. I
knew it was grief, but that was all I had of
her. I never wanted the grief to end.

My phone rang again and I didn’t even look.
I pulled it out of my pocket and dropped it
into the river. It was joyous to let it go. I
laughed at the thought of it, throwing away
the world and all its useless machinations.
My Rolex wristwatch followed and I wrapped
myself in a cloak of my memories. I pulled
my wallet out and looked at it closely. It
was my connection to the world. My driver
license, National ID, Voters Card, Master
debit cards and the Staff ID card I should
have turned in when I had quit. None of it
had meaning. I had kept my promise and
everything else was unlikely. I threw the
wallet farther. My keys were heavier; they
went the farthest into the water below
bridge.
I walked courageously to the east end of
the bridge, where the river lapped up next to
the rocks far below. I was no longer cold, or
cared if I was. I climbed over the railing and
aligned myself with the rocks the water was
kissing below. I closed my eyes and there
was Dolapo again, in all her perfection.
Every freckle, every dimple, her arms
outstretched and inviting. I didn’t jump; I
just leaned into her arms. I saw the most
precious expression, the same one I would
see as we made love. I folded into her as I
fell away from the world. I had kept my
promise.